Paradise Kiss
by summersaults16
Summary: Bella, Edward and their friends embarked on an unforgettable trip for the taste of a lifetime. (Written for the Tricks and Treats 3 Halloween Contest)


**This is the first piece I've ever written for Twilight and my first Halloween entry for this fandom. I participated in the Tricks and Treats 3 Contest and this fic is also posted in the Tricksa** **ndTreats 3 Contest account. (I made the cover art to match the theme)**

 **P.S. I'd like to thank Ferretina for betaing this story.**

 **P.P.S. This is also the the first piece I wrote using a first person POV. (Wooh, full of firsts!)**

 **Warning: This story will tackle about drugs and the frightening effects it has on the human body.**

* * *

 _The 2016 election capitulated profuse transformations in the US. An example would be the controversial and highly publicized legalization of marijuana for recreational purposes by the state of California. Even though the intention of this revolutionary change had been deemed far from subtle, a small group of residents from the Los Angeles area have accused this act as an instigator to the rise of a new urban tale._

 **Paradise Kiss.**

 _A cultivator from a local province had been known to grow a new strain of cannabis. He experimented with different types of produce and by a brief stroke of luck – he had inadvertently unlocked a hidden piece of a genetic code. Skeptics differed on the origin of this elusive plant. Most claimed it was a freak accident brought by the carelessness of the man, while some associated it with ridiculous excuses as though it was some type of voodoo/witchcraft. However, one important thing remained the same._

 _This unknown, fragile yet fast-growing plant held incredible properties. Paradise Kiss was alleged to foster a state of blissful euphoria to those who consumed it. This mind-boggling effect was claimed to be so profound that people would experience selective amnesia, emerging from their intoxicated condition with a new, often completely serene outlook in life._

 _In exchange for the heavenly high this new discovery had induced, there was bound to be side and/or adverse effects. Who would have realized that the sustenance this botanical anomaly required was fresh blood for nourishment instead of water?_

I let out a loud exhale and tossed the magazine inside the bin. "What a load of bull," I scoffed. What was with all these scary Halloween 'mumbo-jumbo' people keep obsessing about? I grabbed a chocolate bar inside the plastic pumpkin basket on the counter and began munching away.

It was October 31st and I had been at my boyfriend Edward's apartment for the evening for a little Halloween fun, drinking beer and smoking pot to release the pressure of a simultaneously stressful and monotonously boring work week.

There were six of us that night in the living room – me, Edward, his roommate, Emmett, Emmett's girlfriend, Rosalie, our mutual friend, Jasper, and a new girl named Alice. Alice was sort of an enigma to us at that time, having recently met Jasper via some dating app or something. But after a few dates, the pair hit it off quite well and the two became inseparable so she was now present to our mini get-togethers.

"Paradise Kiss isn't weed," Alice said after lighting the glass pipe and taking a long drag.

Jasper, who took the magazine I chucked into the trash bin had taken the liberty of reading the article out loud stopped as soon as he was interrupted. "What do you mean?"

"Paradise Kiss isn't weed," Alice spoke again as she placed the pipe on the table. "It's a real thing but it's not marijuana."

I remained snuggled in between Edward's arms on the loveseat. I tried to stifle a few giggles while I watched the newly dubbed 'lovebirds' continue bantering again.

"Whoa. Now, hold on just a minute." Emmett rose from his seat on the couch and eased Rosalie from his lap. "What the hell? I know that's not a real thing."

"It's rare," Alice replied and rolled her eyes at the two skeptical men in the living room. "My brother's friend tried it once."

Disbelieving looks and muffled laughter reverberated inside the quaint space with each of us voicing out the same thought. Although none of us knew Alice particularly well sans Jasper, she had already been known as a clever prankster of some sort and I for one, presumed that she was just adding her own twist to the well-known legend.

"Alright. Let's hear it then!" Edward responded and smirked before taking a swig of beer. "What's it taste like? Does it really tamper with your memory?" He decided to bite the bait.

"Edward…" I nudged him and frowned because I knew what he was up to. He simply flashed me a crooked smile in return.

Alice shook her head and pursed her lips in deep contemplation. "Not that I'm aware of. I'm told it's supposed to be like ketamine. It gives you a dissociative high." The blank stares on our features and the silence that ensued must have been obvious because she gave out an exaggerated sigh. "Have you guys ever tried salvia?"

"I have." Jasper held his hand up and took a drag from the glass pipe. "It was alright. I just lost track of everything, I guess." He shrugged and grinned while puffs of smoke escaped his lips when he exhaled.

"Well, it's meant to act that way. It's like having an out-of-body experience." A minute had elapsed in quiet when Alice ruminated her next words. A knowing smile was plastered on her face as she suggested mischievously. "I could get us some, if you guys want."

"Hell, yeah!" Rosalie replied enthusiastically as her beer bottle clinked with Alice's.

"What?" Emmett's brows furrowed in confusion. "Salvia? Ketamine?"

"Paradise Kiss." Alice simply told him, an impish glint in her eyes.

"Sure, sure." Edward answered almost instantly. "We'll all meet up in El Dorado and smoke it in the Fountain of Youth."

"The Fountain of Youth was supposed to be in Florida," Jasper quickly cut in.

"Bimini," corrected Emmett with a mouthful of beef jerky he took from the fridge. "Florida has too many old people."

"Chew with your mouth closed, Emmett!" I instantly scolded him as I saw tiny bits of food fall on my boyfriend's carpet.

"Oops! Sorry, Bella." Emmett gave me a sheepish grin.

Immediate mirth filled the air once more and as soon as it all died down, Alice spoke again. "Really though, I still have his number. If you want to try Paradise Kiss, just give me a few days."

"Are you sure it won't be any trouble, babe?" Jasper asked.

"There's nothing to worry about." Alice reassured him and gave her boyfriend a soft kiss on the lips.

At this point, I figured that maybe Alice wasn't actually joking. The prospect of the plant's existence was both scary and tempting even if I've never been one to experiment with too many substances. I wasn't sure if it was the various chemicals muddling my brain but the chance to try something new with such a creepy reputation was truly enticing and thrilling to miss out on.

It turned out that I wasn't alone in my opinion either – one by one, my friends all voiced their interest with Emmett forewarning that he was still cynical about this whole ordeal. The conversation swiftly diverted to a different topic after Alice had promised to let us know when she would acquire some of the strange herb.

 **ooOoo**

The days drifted by since the night I slept at my boyfriend's place and any thoughts of 'Paradise Kiss' was completely gone from my mind. It was already late at night and I was just getting ready for bed when my cellphone buzzed on my bedside table. I looked at the screen and it was a message from Edward.

 _Hey, Love! I just wanted u 2 know that Jasper said Alice had secured us a source of paradise kiss we could try but only if we visit the person who cultivates it. Imma fetch u at the weekend so get ready for this trip! We r all gonna b so high.  
_  
 _\- E_

Directions led to a place on the outskirts of a city called Forks in the Clallam County. Edward and I drove together in his silver sedan with Alice in the backseat while Jasper rode with Emmett and Rosalie in a second car. We arrived shortly thereafter; the sun was setting as I gazed at the orange-tinged sky with pink hues in the horizon.

To be honest, this place scared the bejesus out of me while I felt gooseflesh rise from my skin. It was a barren land with worn out paint peeling all over the fences; chest-level wooden poles impaled the cracked earth revealing an overgrown field surrounded by wild plants and trees. Although my coherent mind knew that what I was looking at was the remnants of a vineyard – it eerily resembled a long-abandoned cemetery.

On the far corner of the area was a large, circular cabin. It stood at the end of a short dirt road with simply a rusty-old pickup truck parked near its front door being the only indication of life.

"So, this is creepy," Edward muttered against the shell of my ear before he stepped out of his vehicle. Alice and Jasper walked ahead of us as Emmett and Rosalie followed right behind them. The six of us peered warily around our surroundings as we made our way to the cabin.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" I suspiciously eyed Alice and felt my nerves grow wary.

Though before she could give me an answer, the cabin's door creaked open and a harsh, yellow light shone from behind a tall silhouette. The figure began to amble towards us in slow, measured steps. Acting on pure instinct, I quickly stumbled backward and Edward grabbed my arm before my ass could land on the hard ground.

Eventually as the light of dusk filled in the contours of his face, the shadow was revealed to be an olive-skinned man with an unkempt beard and a scraggly appearance.

I could feel his beady eyes travel to each one of us in our group while he drew closer and spoke, "You Alice?" The old man inquired, "You Mike's friend?" He had a thick accent I never heard of before.

Alice nodded in return. "You're Amun?"

The old man snarled, exposing a set of yellow, rotten teeth and for a few tense minutes, there was no reply. "You said five."

"Five plus me," Alice answered, unfazed. "We have the money." She reached into her purse and produced a short stack of hundred dollar bills. I'd been told nothing about what I needed to pay so I assumed Edward already took care of it.

Truthfully, the brief exchange was a breath of relief for me – a return to normalcy as I had been growing more and more uncomfortable by the second.

The man, Amun, took another step forward and raised his bony, withered hand as he immediately yanked the bills from Alice. He counted the money carefully with practiced motions and then visibly he relaxed.

"Okay. Come inside."

Without waiting for any of us to reply, our host turned and strode back toward his dwelling. He paused briefly at the door, beckoning us to enter before he closed it. There was an unusual ambience inside the simple home though it wasn't hostile in nature. About half a dozen cushions formed a ring around a low table at the center of the room and the walls were lined by plastic-covered planters.

Each box had a bright lamp shining into it and narrow, spindly leaves were just barely visible through the dew that clung to the transparent sheets. The scent of moist soil reached my nose as did the earthy smell of fresh compost.

I rapidly ignored the unpleasant odor as Amun motioned for us to take a seat so I sat next to Edward.

"You want drinks?" he asked as he walked over to his miniature fridge. "No caffeine."

When nobody answered, Amun merely shrugged his shoulders and returned to the group. "Okay. You know the story?"

Emmett let loose a derisive snort. "About watering the plant with blood? Yeah, we know it."

"Not that bullshit." Amun grunted in slight impatience. His aged, wrinkled face contorted into an expression of distaste. "This is not marijuana. This is Amortita."

At the mention of the word, Edward perked up as he sat himself upright. "Like ambrosia? The food for the gods?"

"Yes!" For the first time since our arrival, our host smiled. "Your friend is smart," he told me. "The gods would feast on ambrosia and be given eternal life. Just a myth but with some truth inside. You drink a tea made from Amortita. You feel like a new person. All your aches? Gone. Your sadness? Gone."

"Sounds like Percocet," Emmett mumbled, faintly peeved. "I didn't come all this way for some prescription pills."

If Amun heard the complaint, he just paid no attention. "Bees would make honey from the flower of Amortita – ambrosia. Ancient Greeks would make mead from the honey – nectar."

"Isn't…" Jasper's forehead creased as he began to speak only to stop himself so Amun turned to stare at him. "Sorry, I just thought mead was a Norse thing."

"Mead came before wine in Greece," the old man replied. "Honey can heal and cleanse. Amortita honey can do more. The tea, it does most of all. Once you drink, you are different. You are cured."

Alice shifted on her cushion. "So, how is this going to work? You make the tea, and then we all drink it?"

"No." Amun's single, flat tone brought everyone's attention back to him. "I will not drink. You will be asleep. I will wait for you to wake."

"Uh, no!" Emmet motioned as though he was preparing himself to stand up. "We're not going to pass out while you hang around and… whatever!"

"Calm down," Jasper whispered beside him.

"What? You're okay with this?" Emmett stared incredulously at Jasper. "How do we even know what's in this stuff? If we're drinking, he's drinking."

Amun shook his head. "Amortita requires a chaperone."

"Yeah?" He folded his arms defiantly, but I was aware of the slight tremor in Emmett's voice. "Well. Maybe I'll be the chaperone then, if it's so damn important."

"Hun, don't do it if you don't want to." Rosalie squeezed Emmett's hand.

Edward shot a glare at his roommate. "You're being a dick, dude."

I instantly hushed Edward before things would blow out of proportion.

"You know what? Screw this!" Emmett pulled himself up. "This is sketchy as hell. Let's get out of here." He waited for a moment but none of us moved to join him. "Fine! Have fun getting robbed. Rose, we're leaving."

"Sorry guys." Rosalie spoke apologetically then she got up on her feet to follow Emmett.

Two pairs of shoes were heard ambling towards the exit followed by a loud slam on the cabin's door.

"Sorry about him," Edward apologized and winced. "He didn't mean –"

Amun raised a dismissive hand. "It don't matter. Resisting Amortita can be dangerous. You must be willing to let it take you."

He stood up, then moved to one of the nearby planters. A faint scent of grass filled the room as the plastic was pulled aside to reveal the herb. The leaves were incredibly long and equally as thin with slightly serrated edges and a waxy sheen on its surface. Though I assumed it was a verdant green at first glance, hints of violet, subtle enough that they might almost have been a trick of the light were discernible beneath the surface.

The cuttings were placed on the table along with a hot plate, a frying pan, a wooden board, and a small knife. Four ceramic mugs were added to the collection next. Each one those having been filled with water from an electric kettle. Amun spoke in a somber tone as he meticulously began his preparations. We all observed with piqued interest and sparked curiosity as his hypnotic voice filled the silence.

"The origin of Amortita had been lost to time however, it appeared in many legends. Homer wrote of it being made into red wine. The Rigveda mentioned it as soma." Amun placed the frying pan atop the hot plate and turned the dial to the highest setting. "It was grown by the Greeks, Indians, and Egyptians. Never in great quantities though, never more than t'was needed."

He took the knife between his thumb and forefinger and laid out the leaves on the wooden board. He made a single, perfectly straight incision down the center of each one. "Seeds traveled with healers and prophets. They were brought to the Israelites. They were brought to the Druids. They arrived in South America with the Olmecs. Every culture had tasted ambrosia. Few remember it but legends of its power remain."

The bitter scent grew in strength. It made my eyes water and my face tingle. As the smoke began to warp and dance above the frying pan, Amun slid the leaves onto its surface. The color began to fade almost immediately, transforming from bright green to a dull brown as it sizzled unto the hot metal.

"The gods were said to have ichor in their veins, created and nourished by Amortita. Drinking the nectar would change mortals inside. Some achieved enlightenment. Others found a connection with each other. In all cases, the ecstasy was unmatched."

The leaves continued to change in hue until it became a deep, ruby red. Beads of crimson sap continued to bubble up from the cuts, as if brick red blood was bleeding from the herb.

"Now, you'll know it." With fast, deliberate motions, Amun scooped the leaves out of the frying pan and deposited it into each mug. Tendrils of pink swirled into the water, stretching out like a ghostly hand ready to clutch its unsuspected victim.

"Drink."

Alice wasted no time in downing the concoction and Jasper hastily followed suit. I hesitated a bit as I pressed my lips to the mug although, Edward reassured me that it tasted fine.

The water's heat threatened to scald my throat as I swallowed and made it difficult for me to taste any flavor that might have been present. A mild wave of nausea hit me but lapsed as soon as I noticed it. Apart from that, I felt nothing out of the ordinary.

After a few gulps of the 'miracle tea', Jasper peered down at the contents of his drink. "Are you feeling anything yet?"

"Nope," Edward answered and tasted the tea on his tongue for good measure. He glanced over at Amun. "How long before it starts?"

The man shrugged and raised his palms. "It will happen when you are ready. Relax."

Whether as a result of impatience, anticipation, or the fear of what might be ahead – I felt my anxiety increasing. I fidgeted on my cushion, adjusting my legs from one position to another and back again. My movements prompted by apprehension rather than any search for comfort. It was relatively unnerving to witness that the others seemed bored than restless so I tried to disregard the uneasy feeling.

Although at that moment, something was different.

It was in front of me, I'm not joking. I swear to God. I could see it. I could see myself reaching out toward the table but it was impossibly far away. I watched as everything around me grew larger and more distant at the same time.

The endless changes seemed to be drifting on and off as though I was stuck in a loop. I blinked a few times as the room spun and my vision became a hazy. There were flashes of images in my mind and hushed murmurs echoed inside my ears. It was as if I was a tiny drop of water in a vast, infinite ocean.

The clatter of ceramic on wood vaguely registered in my brain before the sound was submerged by a deep, booming pulse that vibrated my entire body. I struggled to understand what the fuck was going on and before I knew it, I fell head on into the darkness – then the world vanished.

 **ooOoo**

There had only been two occasions in my life when I was unconscious. During each instance, I was completely unaware of what was happening to me and yet, an almost imperceptible willpower to live still remained. My mind and body persisted even with the absence of awareness. In more ways than one, it felt like a high from some unfathomable depths allowed me to once again inhabit both my physical and mental state.

It was though a threshold appeared on the surface and kept me from crossing the other side. The smallest of ripples that made it known I was still alive. It was the exact sensation that came to me during the moments under Amortita's spell.

When I finally awakened, something did not feel right. My next memory consisted of me staring up at the ceiling and slowly realizing that my eyes had been open far too long to make them hurt and dry. A tiny voice inside my head told me that I was seeing but my mind simply did not register anything.

Remembering how to move my limbs took a strange amount of effort because my whole body felt like jell-o. When I finally pushed myself upright, it was like emerging from a kaleidoscope of simultaneously soothing, vibrant colors and lively music.

Details I had previously taken for granted or simply overlooked, stood out as obvious and significant as the ones that demanded my attention.

I could hear the quiet thrum of Amun's refrigerator, the satisfied moan that escaped Edward's lips as he stretched and smiled at me which made me shiver involuntarily.

I also noticed the flecks of grey in Alice's blue irises as fast as I saw her watching me. The smell of my own sweat mixed with the heady, earthen scents in the room. The perfect swell of my breasts as I observed the gentle rising and falling of my chest. The air felt oddly warm and welcoming, it was truly comforting.

"You want drinks?" I turned to see our host grinning as if he was silently sharing an inside joke and I felt my own face mimicking his grin. "Caffeine is okay now."

"This is amazing!" Jasper exclaimed. "I feel like… I'm here! I'm really here!" He kept pointing at himself while talking to Alice.

Amun nodded. "Amortita brings you life. More than that, it brings you eternal life. Now, you are awake. You will stay awake until new problems cloud your mind."

He looked from Alice to Edward and then to Jasper. "You are new. You are new. You are new."

Until his gaze finally landed on me and I fucking swear I saw a brief grimace that shattered his expression before he instantly masked it once more. "You resisted. Probably still feel good but not best. Maybe next time." He shrugged nonchalantly and asked, "You want drinks?"

None of us denied the offer this time.

We were handed cans of off-brand cola, cold and slick with condensation against my eager fingers. The hiss and snap of the tabs opening was followed by the combined scent of sugary syrup and acrid carbonation. The once familiar sensation of bubbles crackling on my tongue was like a wholly, new experience.

My throat burned slightly as I swallowed. A lingering result, I thought, of the tea's intense heat even though that felt unusually pleasurable in a way. I hummed in appreciation and brushed off the muted sting. I labeled it as a feeling of intrigue rather than discomfort.

It was only as I tilted my head back to drain the rest of my beverage that an unpleasant spasm formed in my throat and a cringe from me drew a knowing look of concern from Edward and unexpectedly, Amun. My slender fingers clutched the length of my neck like a reflex reaction.

"You see? You resisted."

"What does that mean… resisted?" Edward inquired in a distressed tone. He was clearly concerned for my well-being as I felt him scoot closer to me from where we sat. He gave me a neck rub to soothe the soreness.

Amun shrugged again. "Some people hold on. They do not let Amortita take them all the way. Sometimes they move a little. One man, he tried to go for a run!" A snort of laughter punctuated his sentence. "Rare, but Amortita requires a chaperone."

The conversation continued awhile longer, covering subjects that would have been unbelievably mundane on any other occasion.

"How long were we asleep?" Jasper asked before he finished the last remaining drops of his cola.

Amun checked the time on his smartphone which left us all with quirked brows and amused confusion. "You only slept for one hour."

My brown eyes became as wide as saucers. Our slumber had only lasted an hour in spite of feeling like an entire lifetime. The total lack of any recollection from that span of time made me think of the urban legend and the memory-erasing properties Paradise Kiss was alleged to possess.

Having tried it myself, I understood the truth behind the tale – Amortita didn't expunge one's experience. It was like being spiritually and emotionally cleansed, allowing one to examine and embrace everything as though for the first time.

Unfortunately, the inner crevices of my mind had remained untouched by the renewal. The stiffness in my neck was a reminder of that. My lips found Edward's mouth as I gave him a little peck for his gesture.

I didn't know how Amun had been able to tell that I'd fought the effects of the herb however, his statement had every ounce of truth in it. While Edward and my friends basked in their carefree contentment, my own bliss felt incomplete. It was the happiest and most relaxed state that I could ever imagine myself in but it still weighed nothing in comparison to the pleasure in the faces of those surrounding me.

Nightfall had well and truly fallen when we made our way outside. It seemed that Emmett had been true to his threat about leaving us because he, Rosalie and his car were nowhere to be found. Edward and Jasper tried calling him a few times both with their voices and their cell phones although, all attempts were left unanswered.

In truth, we all knew him to be temperamental so it would be best for Edward to wait it out until his ire had cooled off since any efforts of contacting him would be futile.

"Hey, Bella." Edward called out to me as he saw me head back to the cabin. "Where are you going?"

I only lifted my hand, gesturing to him to wait for me then I made my way to the door.

I had barely opened my mouth when Amun began to speak. "I know what you want to ask. Why did Amortita not take you?" I nodded and the old man continued. "Who can say? Maybe fear. Maybe doubt. Maybe too strong coffee at work." A smile lifted the corners of his lips but it did not reach his eyes. "Maybe you just were not ready. You feel good, though?" I nodded again and Amun's smile broadened. "Good! Stay some time before you leave. Look at the stars. Easier to see them here than in the city."

With that final word, he retreated from view and closed the door behind him.

The brilliant night sky was certainly more radiant than I could recall seeing before, although I was unsure if it was due to the location or the effect of the herb.

I wandered in slow steps, admiring the heavenly bodies and began tracing my own constellations between the sparkling motes. My aimless path took me to the deserted vineyard where I paused to inhale the perfume of grass and decaying wood.

I might have stayed there longer, however a glimmer in my peripheral vision pulled my focus back to the cabin. It drew my attention to a crack between the two sections of its wall. A narrow beam of light shone outward and grew in that illuminated space. I saw the delicate shapes of slender, shiny leaves. I had yet to see them whole or unobscured but the features of Amortita were unmistakable.

Given how extensive and complicated his indoor farm had been, I doubted Amun knew that a sprout had escaped it. Even so I crept forward as quietly as I could, holding my breath as I drew closer. A piquant aroma called to me as I brought my knees to the ground. The sensation felt more like a memory rather than something I could really smell. I had only intended to look – to verify what I had found but my curious, small hands moved on their own, plunging into the dirt beneath the plant and pulling it up from the earth. I quickly stuffed the plant carefully inside my bag before anyone would have notice it.

My pace was hurried even though I measured each step to keep from being audible. Traces of soil were left in between my fingers and fingernails. I immediately wiped it off with a paper towel I fished out of my purse before heading towards the car where Edward was already seated in the driver's seat while Alice and Jasper took the backseat. Edward raised a curious brow at me but he didn't say anything so I gave no reaction.

A journey of approximately hours brought me back to my apartment in Los Angeles.

I stood outside for a few minutes after Edward had dropped me off, contemplating what I had just done. I felt my breathing rise and my heartbeat quickened. Other than a star-shaped scrap of gold foil I took when I was in kindergarten, I had never stolen anything in my life.

But the act of stealing Amortita had come so easily to me as if it had been second-nature to simply take it. Rationally, I knew that I should feel ashamed yet no guilt or remorse plagued my conscience. It was merely the satisfaction and thrill of having escaped without being caught.

 **ooOoo**

The following Saturday brought profound meaning to the term – 'The Dawn of a New Day'. I woke up with the sunrise on my face, my skin felt especially glowing and my brown hair was shiny as it cascaded softly behind my back. I was pumped up with energy even if the strain in my neck remained.

However, aside from that one trivial detail, every fiber of my being was eager to leap up and explore all that the world had to offer.

My thoughts immediately darted toward the Amortita after I had changed into a tank top and boy shorts. I sprinted to the bathroom door where I placed it in a pretty flower vase by the sink last night.

A pleased smile graced my lips when the plant appeared to be healthier than it had been from the previous evening. More impressive was the fact that it seemed to have kept growing despite the lack of soil.

I made my way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. While I was busy frying sunny-side up eggs in a pan, I pondered that I was alone again in my lonely apartment. This was the first pang of doubt about my newfound tranquility. Pleasant though it was to drift through existence without the burdens of regret or apprehension, my happiness was undermined by the idea that I had been separated from the rest of humanity. No one could possibly decipher what I was going through. I pursed my lips and felt the lump that formed at the back of my throat.

An impulse to dismiss my uneasiness pushed to the front of my mind as I transferred the eggs into a plate however, the apathy simply remained out of reach.

I could only think of three other individuals who might sympathize with my plight and contact from two of them had been uncharacteristically lacking since we had parted ways.

I had always been used to Edward's daily messages and calls ever since we had gotten together. After that night he dropped me off at my apartment, I haven't seen him since.

And Jasper, he was notorious for posting amusing images and news articles to his various social media accounts. Though after the trip to Forks, greetings from my boyfriend became scarce and Jasper's profiles were eerily silent.

This muted weariness rose as I dialed Edward's cellphone number and the nagging feeling amplified when neither call nor message was answered.

I tried to think of other avenues I might attempt to get ahold of my unresponsive boyfriend but keeping a firm grasp of that instigating dread was driving me insane.

It came as a mild surprise when I remembered that I could also reach out to Emmett, whom I had somehow forgotten until then. Being Edward's roommate gave him the perks and disadvantages of being around my boyfriend 24/7 and Emmett's own welfare while strangely less important to me, was still in question.

The line did not even ring before I was transferred to his voicemail. Panic crawled into my skin at last, cutting through the languor and pumping adrenaline through my veins. I seized the emotion, afraid that it wouldn't leave me in peace and forced myself to follow it.

I swiftly changed into the first thing I yanked in my closet – a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.

The next minute, I found myself hailing a cab to Edward's apartment. I clutched the cellphone in my hand after I tried dialing his number for the infinite time, still to no avail. The hard device was the only thing that kept me from tumbling into this abyss of madness.

The cabdriver kept stealing glances at me from the front-view mirror as he turned on the stereo. He must have seen the obvious jitters in my movements and thought, a little sound would calm me down.

The sudden burst of music brought salty tears of joy to my eyes. The panic and urgency evaporated, destroyed by the sheer rapturous glee that replaced it. My heart swelled with so much emotion.

The song that was playing was familiar; one of which I eagerly sang along. The elation carried me to a height that no melody had ever reached.

Shades of green and yellow radiated from passing hillsides, seeming to mix with the notes of the song in a perfect symphony of sensory euphoria.

I was nearly whole again, nearly free from the torment I allowed to consume me. All that's left was a silent longing to be near those who could understand my delight.

 **ooOoo**

There was no answer when I knocked on Edward's door. I hastily fumbled for the extra set of keys he gave me and jammed it into the lock.

The door opened with a click and I hurriedly twisted the knob. I made my way to the living room as my heartbeat strummed erratically inside my ribcage and cold sweat filled my palms.

All three of them were there, looking as rested and revitalized as I felt. Alice and Jasper were seated on the couch while Edward lounged on a cushioned chair.

"Hey, Love! it's great to see you!" Edward stood up in a wobbly manner and gave me a slobbering kiss on the cheek. "I feel amazing!"

The ecstasy within me diminished as I looked at him in disbelief. He wasn't contacting me for the past few days for this?

But Alice's giddy voice distracted me before I could utter a word. "Me, too! Everything is so real!"

"Have you eaten anything yet?" Jasper asked me. I only realized then that I didn't even touch the eggs I cooked for breakfast. "Oh, man! You won't believe it. There are actually flavors to stuff!"

"I like the smells," Alice purred. "They're all so different. They're all unique."

Jasper inhaled deeply, having apparently been encouraged by his girlfriend's words. I didn't know why, but I felt myself emulating him. The scent of cinnamon and floral air-freshener flitted below a light layer of dust.

Their combined fragrance sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine. I felt my legs gave out and my body sank as I landed on Edward's lap. The heat of his frame radiated deliciously against my figure and the fine hairs on his arms tickled my skin.

Then the next thing I knew, Edward's soft lips crushed mine. He laughed as he kissed me, filling my mouth with hot air that tasted like fresh mint. Our wet tongues danced in rhythm, a battle of dominance driven by anticipation. I felt his large hands crawled its way under my shirt as he eagerly wanted to touch and taste ever part of me.

It should have felt like fireworks. His touch would have set my soul and body on fire. This was my boyfriend, I reminded myself but the experience felt incomplete. His movements almost felt mechanical. The idea that I was merely faking my moans mocked me from an unseen corner of my psyche.

It kept me from ascending to the apex that I knew was possible. Try as I might to ignore that unwelcome restraint, it infected me. My arousal declined even when I felt my wet panties. The lust was entirely supplanted by a much more dull pressure in my bladder.

I got off Edward's lap but he didn't seemed to mind and headed to the bathroom. I stood and stared at my reflection in the mirror. No thrill of elation came with the sight nor any transcendent vision; it was only my reflection, marked by the same eyes, laugh lines and creases that I had seen on the faces of strangers.

Frustration and self-loathing drowned me. It was then joined by isolation when I returned to the living room – Alice and Jasper were locked in a passionate embrace, their mouths and their hips thrusting together while Edward looked on with an expression of approval.

I had been gone no longer than a handful of minutes and now, I had been so easily forgotten. Wrath and despair flashed through me, almost more quickly than I could process. I was ultimately left with nothing but the same emptiness that had kept me from the bond I had sought.

The sentiment started to fade almost as soon as I recognized it, but its passing left me in control again. I fled from the scene and ran. I pounded on the closed door to Emmett's room.

Although my senses were still the sharpest they had been, I could hear no response – not even a rustle of movement. A crack in the paint begged me to notice it however, I shoved the distraction from my mind. The knob refused to turn in my grasp.

My shouts went unanswered. Laughter reached me from elsewhere in the house and I wondered what fun was I missing. I kicked at the door once…. twice... and again... and again…

The wraith-like cobwebs that clung to a nearby window swayed in a slow and calming fashion lulled me back into stillness.

Alice had removed most of her clothing by the time that I rejoined the gathering. I didn't even know there were freckles that dotted her skin although, the entanglement between her and Jasper had halted.

I asked myself, not for the first time I realized, but perhaps for the first time with these words – what absence within me was responsible for my segregation?

I felt the same revelry and I was conscious of all that they were. Yet, an errant piece had never fallen into place. I was no more connected here than I had been to the people outside and this state of half-being casted me as an interloper amidst everyone I might encounter.

I did not fully recall hailing a cab going home. The sensations overwhelmed me so I indulged myself in them. All the while, I hoped that some epiphany might make me complete.

It never came. My legs brought me to my front door and I could only think of Amun's casual tone – "You resisted. Probably still feel good, but not best. Maybe next time."

His words continued to resonate inside my head as the day lapsed and the sun set. By nightfall, I had come to the one conclusion I had been avoiding.

Only one solution was available to me and it was nestled in the flower vase inside my bathroom.

Deciding to use the Amortita on my own was more difficult than I had imagined it would be. The preparations would be easy enough to replicate but the warning that its consumption required a chaperone made me pause.

It was only after I had sat for a time in the darkness, brown eyes fixed at the plant by the sink, when I began to feel more confident.

I set my kettle to boil then selected a leaf that appeared to be about the same size and shape as the one me and my friends and I had been presented. The sharp aroma filled my apartment as I sliced down its middle.

I watched with unreserved awe as its color shifted from green to red on my skillet. When the ruby beads leaked up to the surface, I scooped the leaf from the pan and deposited it into a waiting mug. The tendrils of pink explored the steaming water. I blew away some of the heat as my fingers curled on the handle of the mug.

I steeled myself for the burn that I knew was coming then I downed the tincture in a single gulp and I waited as the world stretched out in front of me.

Once again, I surrendered to the darkness.

There was an effect present only in dreams that could alter a person's thoughts. It mirrored the sensation of remembrance but attached itself to new images and feelings.

This phenomenon could skew the progress of time and rearrange events or even influence the unwary into drawing connections between unrelated concepts.

Someone half-asleep might trick themselves into following a given thread of thought, only to look back and find that they were lost in a tapestry of nonsense. Nightmares in particular brought a menacing element to this experience. They ensnared their victims in an inescapable weave. Attempts to break free only tightened the bonds and the terror escalated even in waking.

I did not dream while being held by the Amortita, though I was trapped nonetheless.

My first thought upon coming back to the world was that parched ache in my throat.

It was a distinct rawness like tiny needles cutting my vocal cords at the same time. It was noticeable enough to give me doubts about whether I had truly managed to let go. Apparently, those doubts themselve hinted that I had again resisted.

A disturbing sensation in my body dragged me further into the realm of apprehension. I gazed at my surroundings and discovered that I had fallen to the floor.

Blinking was painful and despite the clear light in my room, my vision was blurry and warped. My stomach churned as I pushed myself upright, bringing the taste of bile to my tongue.

This was not the relaxed emergence I wanted even if the previous sense of concurrent acclaim and contentment had returned. I held my arms out, stretching. I stopped when my slender fingers encountered an unexpected object next to me.

Somehow, I discovered my mug had been knocked all over my floral sheets. Its presence struck me as blindingly peculiar given that I had left it in the kitchen counter.

I nearly stumbled over other items as I walked out of my bedroom. Finally, I turned on my living room light and an uncontrollable laughter escaped my lips at what I saw.

My entire apartment was in shambles with not even a single one of my possessions having been left untouched. Furniture had been toppled, clothes had been thrown about, shoes, jewelries and makeup had been strewn in every direction.

Only one corner seemed to have escaped whatever force had done this – the Amortita stood perched inside the vase and intact. It maintained its place on the inner windowsill where I left it. Like a sentinel gazing over the carnage.

My mood remained pleasant and jovial but that inner warmth could not mask the insistent alarm in my brain as I stepped gingerly away from the obstacles surrounding the plant.

The shadow it casted seemed to have grown longer and larger. Odd.

I took a swift glance at the phone in my pocket – only an hour had passed though, I had little time to mull over that facet.

My attention was quickly diverted to the shallow scratches which had been made in the wall below the window.

A still-capped ballpoint pen lie on the carpet, flecks of white paint clung to the cap. I gave out a loud, childish giggle as I imagined the scenario.

I envisioned someone so desperate to leave a message that they had forgotten the necessity of uncapping the pen. The writing was indecipherable; a little more than rough strokes in a decoration of haphazard lines.

The writer had failed and their frantic thoughts were in oblivion as a result. Perhaps, I mused, an intent analysis could produce some sort of meaning. But the chaotic patterns from the disorder behind me were much more enthralling even when viewed in the reflection of the darkness peeking from the window.

I can't honestly say that I was in denial. But there was this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that marked me responsible for both the disarray in my apartment and the markings on the wall.

The conclusion slipped from my mental grasp each time it hit me though. A new distraction or wandering tangent would be enough to drive the worries away.

There was a blind spot in my memory and it served as a deterrent against any inquiry about what might have taken place while I was presumably unconscious. The uncertainty remained as did the intangible mystery about the herb's true nature and both remained out of examinable reach.

It soon occurred to me that I had still yet to eat while sitting amidst the smashed plates and misplaced cookery that covered my kitchen floor. It wasn't my desire to satiate the hunger. The prospect of reveling in an unknown traverse of flavors was far more compelling than any physical need.

I gorged myself with everything inside my fridge, stopping only when the tightening ache underneath my sternum eclipsed the pleasure of my indiscriminate feasting.

My bed was cold when I finally returned to it. The coolness was a welcome embrace in spite of the heater turned on.

 **ooOoo**

In the city, on the streets, everywhere I go…. each glimpse I got from a passing face sent horrible images through my head, tormenting me with visions of grime-filled crags encircling me with disapproving scowls.

These were not people I felt but caricatures of depravity and decrepitude; stains upon a tapestry that would have been heartwarming without them.

In truth, I was relieved that my existence had become nothing more than a sleepwalk through a barrage of hypnotizing senses followed by a hasty submersion in the waters of the Amortita. I wondered how Edward, Jasper, and Alice were faring in their own lives except my attempts at contacting them went perpetually unanswered.

The ever present longing for a connection most especially from my boyfriend, only grew in those moments and it amplified by the absence of communication. The prospect that I would still be unwashed in their eyes. I questioned whether Edward would view me as I had those around me – as an impure visage of ignorance and antipathy – or if that apparent rancor would even be visible to them.

More frustrating still was that I couldn't control the urge to visit Edward's apartment even if the man I knew was gone.

The solitude itself eventually presented an option and with it came a second thought. I could make the journey with the herb in tow.

My desire to share, would no doubt, be welcomed and I would be granted passage into the lives of those who had left me. I would be their watcher as they would once again partake the ritual and I would see first hand what occurred while they slept.

Edward's door was unlocked the moment my hand touched the knob. The three had donned new clothes and their positions shifted in the living room.

No other changes occurred since then, as though there was no sign that time had passed since I last visited my boyfriend.

Alice was sprawled out on the couch, her head resting on Jasper's lap while Edward sat on the floor, using the armchair more as a backrest than for its intended purpose.

As though it was rehearsed, they greeted me again with the same warm recognition and apparent glee, not at all aware of the plant I held in my hands. I placed it on the coffee table and waited until one of them recognized it.

Evening approached and passed with maddening languidness. I was almost beguiled into a cycle of relaxation until I was roughly snatched back into a state of clarity by the loud pounding in my chest each time the conversation lulled.

This sequence might have repeated about a dozen of times or more, causing me to falter between peace and near-panic with every second.

It was Jasper who finally disrupted the rhythm.

"Okay…." he began in a fit of muffled chuckles. "What is that thing?"

Alice and Edward followed Jasper's outstretched finger, pointed at the Amortita.

"It's… a plant!" replied Edward with so much enthusiasm. Laughter erupted inside the room, it even escaped my lips.

Jasper leaned forward, furrowing his brows in exaggerated scrutiny. "Yeah, but what is it doing?"

"Sitting there!"

More merriment ensued and I was swept in it. Had it not been for our distorted senses, the moment might have been lost but Alice's next words restored my coherence.

"It smells familiar," she said. Jasper moved as his girlfriend rose to a sitting position. "Almost like the other night."

Edward's eyes widened in joy when he understood her words. "Hey! Yeah, it's Paradise Kiss!" He turned to face me with a huge grin on his face and kissed my forehead. "You brought Paradise Kiss!"

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists, my fingernails dug the insides of my palms as it pained me to see him this way.

"We should make some of that tea!" Jasper continued. I could feel my face becoming pale and my ears burning. "We could do it right here!"

"Nah." Edward shook his head profusely. "Nah, we should do it in the kitchen. There's a stove in there!"

Preparations were made quickly while the four of us strode down the hall. I noticed that the door to Emmett's room was still locked and for a moment, I wondered what had happened to him.

The thought left my mind as the carpet beneath my feet gave way to linoleum. Although we had never verbally agreed upon it, I could discern that the decision had been made for me to prepare the tincture.

It was easy enough to assume that the responsibility fell on Amortita's owner. I only saw it as even more evidence of my difference from the others.

My trembling hands moved nearly of their own accord as I boiled the water, heated a skillet, and arranged a collection of three mugs on the counter.

The steak knife I used to cleave through the leaves was clumsy and dull but adequate enough to make each slit.

The next spiral of guilt enveloped me as the bitter aroma filled my lungs. The crimson pearls emerged and the point of no return had cemented itself inside of me. I would soon be given answers.

Pink clouds colored the steaming water and I carried the mugs back to where my friends were seated. Another stab of anxiety leapt into my chest by their continuous conversation, though the heavy weight in my hands was all the reminder that everything was necessary.

With enthusiastic smiles, the three took their beverages then downed them all in unison as I stood by and observed. My heartbeat was wild and erratic as they settled back into contentment and a moment later, I was the only one left awake.

The telltale signs of deep, relaxed breathing became audible. I stared intently to each pair of closed eyes. My gaze settled longer at Edward, looking for signs of movement that would indicate a dream.

Seconds ticked by with no such evidence leading me to fear that I would learn nothing and remain disconnected. But just as the last embers of hope were threatening to extinguish, it was soon reignited by the sight of Alice slowly turning her head. I rushed to her side and leaned as close as I could without touching her, searching once more for anything that might provide answers.

Her eyes opened and her mouth parted.

There were no words to describe the sound that ripped itself free of Alice's throat. It began as a howl of absolute terror, a shriek of utter agony as unmistakable and yet indescribable as the tortured expression that deformed her face.

What have I done?

I stumbled backward, panicking while my fingers rushed to cover my ears when Jasper and Edward began to scream, as well. Their backs arched, their limbs convulsed, and their raw, primal wailing went on for what seemed like an eternity. The shrieks of pain continued even after I was harshly grabbed from behind and dragged out of the room.

I did not struggle to break free from the person's hold. My legs backpedaled just enough to keep me upright but the nightmarish cacophony dominated my senses.

I could hear it even after a door slammed shut behind me. The echoes remained wedged in my skull until a brutal slap – I realized – brought my mind into focus.

"What the hell did you do?!" Emmett demanded. I looked around and opened my mouth, but no words came as I gazed at the tall man. "I don't fucking care if you're Edward's girl. I'm not afraid to hurt you!"

"Are you working with that creep? Is that it? Answer me!" Another blow stung my cheek and my vision blurred with the accompanied tears. My hand reached up to cup my cheek. The screaming seemed to have stopped, though it was still etched in my memory.

I held up a hand, wordlessly begging for a reprieve.

Emmett glared down at me and for the first time, I noticed how disheveled his appearance was. Several days' worth of blond stubble shaded his chin and his neck. His normally pristine hair was a mess of oily and sweat-soaked tangles.

A repulsive smell emanated from somewhere nearby, probably coming from the dark stains on his shirt. He was only illuminated by a bare bulb from a desk lamp which casted curious shadows, like –

"Stay here!" he barked. "Don't go drifting off!" I blinked twice and shook my head, trying to keep myself in control.

My reaction seemed to have brought waves of sympathy because it seemed to have softened Emmett's scowl. "Look, just hang on." He opened a drawer in his nightstand, pulling forth a large pocket knife. "This won't feel good but it will help."

A sharp pain flashed up my arm and a line of brick red blood trickled the blade. I frowned, yanking my small wrist away from Emmett's strong grip. Unpleasant though it was, the wound had its intended effect.

I was spurred into lucidity more quickly than if I had been drenched in icy water. Unlike the duller discomforts I had so easily dismissed before, this one refused to be relegated to the realm of the other sensations.

Emmett nodded, apparently satisfied with my reaction. "Good. I'm going to give this to you. Alright?" He held out the pocket knife and placed it firmly in my palm. "If you start to… you know, go away. Cut yourself again. Can I trust you to do that?"

I gave him a nod of my own.

"Okay. I want answers now."

This wasn't the first time I found myself struggling to explain my perspective. After all, how could Emmett hope to comprehend what I had been through?

He had never seen the nasty glowers of passing strangers nor felt the surreal seduction of a previously unnoticed texture against one's skin. What substitution did he have for this isolation that was invoked by an incomplete transformation?

The naïve, innocent wonder of the Amortita's enchantment.

The uncertainty must have been obvious on my face because Emmett spoke again before I could. "I think I understand. I know you won't believe me, but seriously… I get it." He glanced over his shoulder at the closed door behind him. "We need to get out of here. Someone might have called the cops. You can tell me everything in the car."

Our escape from the house was immediate, interrupted only when I darted back to the kitchen to retrieve the Amortita. Emmett protested at first however, he relented when he realized that its presence might cause trouble if discovered.

We hurried up the street to where he had parked his car and I sat into the passenger seat as Emmett took the wheel. The vehicle's forward motion brought my mind images of a tranquil, flowing river and another red line joined the first on my arm as we drove away.

"So, I guess it didn't work on you?" Emmett asked. "The Paradise Kiss, I mean." He glanced at the vase between my legs before turning his attention back on the road. "I should have guessed. Those three have been together practically nonstop since they got back from Forks."

His words made perfect sense even though there was a kind of unhinged hysteria hiding just beneath the surface of his physicality. "It's been horrible. I had to break up with Rose because I didn't want to get her involved. They sit there, you know? Talking, b-but… but it's like they're not really there. I couldn't even leave my room. I just kept remembering the… the screaming."

Vivid recollections manifested through my mind and I shuddered instinctively.

Emmett's jaw tensed and he spoke through gritted teeth. "We heard it after we left, inside the cabin. Me and Rose just started running. I thought about calling someone but I didn't know what would happen to all of you if I did."

He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, guiding us toward some unknown destination. "I couldn't think about anything else for days. That's when I started doing research. I think you're an asura now." I didn't recognize the word as Emmett surmised from my puzzled face. "It means 'barbarian'. Well, it means a lot of things. Barbarian is one of them, though. I found some conspiracy forums online discussing Paradise Kiss and someone said that people who don't… change, I guess. Start getting all weird, like you."

I could vaguely disprove the accusation. And the same dreadful longing threatened to overwhelm my senses once more, and for the third time in a row, I gouged a thin streak into my arm.

"Careful with that," Emmett said. "We can't go to the hospital. Everyone who does gets locked away. They say it's a government plot – the forum people, I mean, but it sounds like patients get diagnosed with dementia or something."

We took another turn and this time I recognized the route to the highway. "That is, if the stories are even true. A lot of them sound like bullshit. One of them mentioned a cure, though."

His last words caught my attention. If there was a way to be free of this web of insanity, I wanted it even though the prospect of losing the otherworldly euphoria was almost too depressing to consider.

I pressed my fingernail into the slashes on my arm.

"The problem is," continued Emmett, "Nobody can agree on what the fucking hell it is. Some people say it's a different plant, others say it's just a different way of preparing it. I know how we can find out, though."

He did not need to elaborate anymore, I knew where we were going.

Emmett kept speaking throughout the entire drive to the abandoned vineyard, maybe he was making up for his self-imposed seclusion. Wild theories dominated his monologue, ranging from borderline ludicrous to disconcertingly plausible.

I concentrated on each theory, combining the adrenaline it revitalized me with the agonizing ache in my arm to keep my head clear.

We arrived to the dirt road in front of Amun's cabin, the car slowed to a stop and we climbed out into the night.

"Why did you bring that with you?" It was only after Emmett had spoken that I realized I was clutching the Amortita.

"He probably won't be happy when he finds out you stole it. That's how you got it, right? You stole it?" Once again, I couldn't deny the indictment. "Here. Look, leave it underneath the truck. If we need it to make the cure, we'll grab it on the way out."

Something very strange occurred to me then. As I begrudgingly followed Emmett's advice, I noticed our surroundings as though they had been invisible to me since our arrival. The rusty pickup truck was too large to miss. Even the cabin itself, set before the graveyard of rotting wooden poles had been a little more than a backdrop.

Our walk from the car might as well have taken place in a dream. I wanted to blame the dark horizon for my lack of perception, however I knew that my preoccupation with the plant had been the more likely culprit.

After I deposited the herb in its hiding place, I saw that Emmett had retrieved a shovel from the truck's bed.

"You know," he said, "just in case."

We did not bother knocking. The door swung open as soon as Emmett pulled on its handle and he stormed inside the cabin with an air of courage and purpose. Amun was seated on one of his cushions, staring at something on a laptop computer.

"Hey!" The man shouted. He jumped to his feet, balling his hands into shaking fists. "What are you doing?!"

In truth, my own thoughts were similar to his. This sudden assault was far from the most effective means of beginning a conversation but the damage had been done. It was too late to worry about it.

"We just want to talk!" Emmett yelled back. "Just talk!"

"That is my shovel!"

Though I was watching his back in front of me, I could tell that Emmett's stance didn't quiver. "We just walk to talk!" He shouted again. "Tell us about the cure!"

A look of bewilderment crossed Amun's bearded face. "What are you saying? Get out! I have a gun!"

He took a step backward toward the refrigerator behind the cabin's interior and tripped on the cushion where he had been sitting. Emmett seized the chance as the man fell, lunging forward and brandishing the shovel like a spear.

"Tell us about the cure!" Emmett repeated. His voice cracked and I could see his bulky arms trembling as he lifted the shovel. I walked forward, moving in slow steps so that I could make eye contact with Amun.

"Please!" The man said, catching my gaze. "He is crazy!"

Emmett forced the tip of the shovel against Amun's throat. "No, I'm not! You're a liar! You sent that girl to tell us about Paradise Kiss!"

"What girl?!"

"You know what girl!"

Amun writhed beneath Emmett's onslaught, raising his arms to knock the shovel away. He rolled to one side and scrambled on the floor but it was stopped by a savage strike on the back of his head.

The man curled into a ball and yowled in pain. His hands instinctively reached up to shield where his skull had been hit.

"Stop!" He cried. "Stop, please! You say you want to talk! You are here to kill me!"

"Don't try that again!" Emmett furiously replied. He looked over his shoulder at me. "Go, see if he really has a gun."

I searched the area where Amun had been heading, and sure enough, a black shape was visible behind the refrigerator.

It felt unexpectedly light as I picked it up and I discovered that it was nothing more than a toy. The pistol fired plastic pellets.

Emmett laughed in mockery. "Oh, you have a gun, do you? What were you going to do, shoot pellets at us to death?"

"Please," Amun pleaded. "Please, you do not… my daughter."

"What are you talking about?"

Amun moved his hand away from his head and made a sluggish, calming gesture. He rolled over, revealing a face that was streaked with salty tears. "There is a c-cure, but I can't give it to you. My daughter, she is asura."

This time, I recognized the word.

"A barbarian?" Emmett asked.

"No, not barbarian. Slave." Amun sat up and Emmett kept the shovel level headed, ready to strike in case. "I did not lie. I spoke of Amortita. I just did not say there are two parts. The drink will make you new. The fruit will make you whole." He shook his head and grimaced. "It is very rare. Rarer than Amortita alone. It must be cultivated."

Emmett took a step forward and growled. "How?"

How weird, I thought. My own eagerness did not match his own.

"You drink Amortita," said Amun. "You find peace. You expel all anger. You expel all darkness. Some resist. They keep a piece of their soul."

"This is fucking bullshit!"

"It is the truth!" The man thumped a hand on his chest. "The soul holds our evil! It holds our pain! We are born without souls. We cultivate them as we grow. Like Amortita. Amortita makes you new by releasing your soul. It feeds upon this darkness, like other plants to water. Enough darkness and Amortita will flower. Enough evil, it will bear fruit. This is all around us, in this room." He gestured at the planters that lined the room. "I do not cultivate Amortita for money. My daughter is asura."

"You said that already," Emmett responded dubiously. "What does it mean? Is my friend asura?" He jerked his head towards my direction.

"I do not know. I swear it!" Amun held up his arms as Emmett moved as though to swing the shovel. "Some who keep a piece of their soul go on. They feel good, then normal. Some become asura, become slaves. They are drawn to Amortita. They are…" He paused, searching desperately for the right word. "They always search for something they can't find. Always alone. Driven to madness. My daughter is asura. I cultivate Amortita to bring her back."

A moment passed in silence. "What about the others?" Emmett wondered. "They changed all the way."

"Deva," answered Amun. "They will stay at peace until cultivating new souls. They are like children. Innocent without guilt. This is eternal life. Eternal youth. Amortita tea does this."

"What…" Emmett's reaction was lost while he began to speak. "What happens if they drink more of it?"

"They will die." Freezing, icy dread drenched my being as Amun continued and I could see Emmett's grip tightened on the shovel's handle.

Edward….

"If Amortita can't purge a soul, it purges life. Asura can drink again and again with no effect. Sometimes they do things. They write poetry. They destroy. Anything to release their sadness. This is why Amortita requires a chaperone. Deva have no sadness to release."

Emmett's posture turned rigid. He was like a perfectly-still statue for several seconds before he turned to face me.

"You killed them." The venom in his words slashed through me like a blade. "Did you get that? You killed them." He stared into my eyes, seething with anguish and rage. "Are you deaf?! Say something!"

I could only stare back.

"Your friend can't speak." Amun stood up behind Emmett. "Asura are without voices."

The statement made me look back on the moments I drank the Amortita. I could not remember speaking out loud.

I was indeed searching and the scratches I had left on my wall were proof that I allowed my unconscious mind to run loose. Destruction had certainly came easily enough and I caught myself gleefully smiling at the image of my ransacked apartment and from that moment on, I had been inexorably drawn to the Amortita.

These inner epiphanies were interrupted when Emmett howled with unbridled fury. He brought the weapon up over his head. I should have run or protected myself but my body didn't move.

Perhaps, I knew that nothing would have happened to me because before Emmett could swing, Amun wrenched the shovel from his hands and slammed it down with a sickening crack.

Emmett fell to the floor. His arms and legs jerked as Amun slammed the shovel down again and again. The sound of metal on bone gave way to loud, wet crunches.

Horror and revulsion wrapped me as I observed the scene. Just as so many feelings I experienced before, they disappeared into a blur of fascinating sensations.

Emmett's body eventually stopped twitching and Amun wiped the splatters of blood from his face.

"Come," he said. "We will bury him in the vineyard."

We took turns digging and created a hole that was as deep as it was wide. I had never dug a grave before, not even for a deceased pet and I found the experience to be remarkably calming.

My previous disquiet had all but completely vanished and the beads of sweat that trickled the cuts on my arm felt almost satisfying. I felt neither resentment nor fear though, I did remind myself of Emmett's deranged behavior. I could not think of him as human, honestly. He had merely been another corrupted creature.

When our task was finished, Amun kicked Emmett's body into the pit and turned to me with a sad smile.

"Do you pray?" he asked.

My feet stepped forward and the man opened his arms to embrace me.

I reached out to him in response having prepared for this moment and plunged Emmett's pocket knife into Amun's throat, just beneath the filthy lines on his face.

A fast, harsh stroke tore one artery and another and the man gurgled as he lurched backward. He stretched out to me, clawing the air while brilliant jets of crimson fluid spurted out into the starlight and stained the ground. The man toppled over and the grave welcomed its second occupant.

I buried two bodies that night. Replacing the upturned grass was like assembling the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle but the first chance of rain would wash away any lingering blood.

I knew that the cabin was too isolated for anyone to stumble upon by accident. It was also too far that a victim's screams would draw no attention.

Still, my work was far from finished. The corpses of my friends would one day be discovered and the call logs on their cellphones could be traced to me. Amun had spoken of a daughter, as well, which suggested that he might have a family who would miss him.

More riveting than those details though was the violet bud I had noticed while hiding the plant underneath the pickup truck. It was miniscule I observed, but as I had learned, it was a sign that my salvation was within reach.

For that reason, I would stay here – to offer the scalding tea to anyone who ask for it. I would cultivate the herb, to provide it with the inconsequential nourishment that could bring forth its bounty. Even if there was another way out, another choice for salvation, I doubt if I would take it.

There wasn't one though, of course. This was how it was going to be.

After all and as you know well, Amortita required a chaperone.


End file.
